Location

St Kilda East
18A, Fulton St, St Kilda East Victoria 3182

Contact Details

Contact Event Organiser

Q. What is death? 

A. Death is accepting Life on Life’s terms.

The idea behind the Living Funeral Ceremony Workshop is for you to gain some acceptance and understanding about your own death experience. Are you afraid of dying? Do you wonder how it might feel to die? Do you wonder how a loved one or patient who is dying might be feeling?

This process is offered in the form of a experiential process, in which healthy individuals are guided through an embodied meditative visualisation. It is a transformative, immersive experience intended to encourage deep reflection and introspection about mortality and life priorities. The internal process will evolve for each individual in just the way that is right for them.

The ceremony is a 2-3 hour long experience which focuses on turning towards one's own mortality. Participants are faced with their own memorial photograph, are invited to contemplate last words, and then are lead through a death visualisation, laid to rest and finally returned to life. It’s a truly transformative journey, bringing a new outlook to the whole of ones’ life.

A different experience, often also called a living funeral or living wake, is the event where a dying person attends their own wake, or celebration, with their family and friends. We offer support around organising this sort of gathering, however this is not the offering we speak of here.

Choosing to participate in a Living Funeral Ceremony Workshop is a meaningful and transformative experience that will encourage you to celebrate your life thus far, as well as engender gratitude for your life still to be lived. Living in fear of death will be put to rest.

Why attend your own simulated funeral?  Simply put, to have an experiential understanding of what it might feel like to die.

How can we do this? We can do this by meeting death through the context of a guided embodied meditation process supported by an experienced facilitator.

This process is based on the understanding that it is only intelligent and sensible that before we die we should bring some awareness to our concerns regarding death, or what they might be at the time of death, and to face them now rather than when we are on our death bed. This creates space and an opportunity for growth at the End-of-Life. Often at the End-of-Life we may not have the energy, resources or capacity of mind to contemplate death peacefully and therefore may risk being propelled into an existential crisis of sorts.

The most common motivation to attend a Living Funeral Ceremony seems to be to overcome a fear of death. Other reasons have been: ‘sounds weird and interesting, I want to check it out! ’. Whatever your motivation, when one person confronts their own death and shares the story of their experience with others - it has a ripple effect on society. It makes it easier for others to talk about death and hopefully they can then be more open and present to death when it enters their lives and the lives of loved ones.

Beliefs about death that don’t serve us 

It is enlightening to look openly at death and what it means to die – while we are still alive. In our culture we often don’t want to look at death or talk about it. There are two common dominant negative beliefs at play that underpin this cultural norm that does not serve us.

Firstly, a belief that if you talk about death you might invite death into your experience. Therefore it’s very dangerous to talk about death! Talking about death won’t make you dead, any more than talking about sex won’t make you pregnant!

Secondly, a belief that giving attention to dying is anti-life. Life and death, living and dying are really one process, one continuum – we use words to label different parts of this one continuous experience. You may think : ‘I’m too busy living to look at dying’. However, in the same way we prepare and plan for the ‘birthing’ and ‘living’ parts of our lives, we should also prepare and plan for the ‘deathing’ part of our lives. Older cultures world-wide have understood that naming and bringing death into light and into a sacred space with others, has a balancing effect on our perspectives and all the inevitable ups and downs of a human life. Investing some time in one part of life doesn’t take energy away from another part, but has the effect of amplifying our appreciation for the wonder of it all.

Supporting others who are dying  Do you wish to support, in a profound way, someone else who is dying ? Do you wish to be in their shoes to the extent you can be - by having an experiential understanding of at least some of what they might be going through? If you knew you only had 3 months to live, how would you spend that time? How would you feel being around a friend or family member who is very sick or dying? Would you know how to support someone who is dying? Are you able talk to your parents about their death?

Have you supported someone who has died and feel you now need support around this experience and any issues around death that came forward strongly for you?

By engaging in this process of attending your own Living Funeral you will be voluntarily moving into the experience of dying, that is to say - to have a taste of dying. This ceremony is a way of rehearsing for being dead. You will come face to face with the reality that you are mortal and will one day cease to exist here in this same way.

The simulation of death evokes certain emotions and states of being that allows you to relate to people who are dying, or have died, in a more intense and visceral way, rather than only cognitively – i.e. thinking about what they are or were going through. It’s impossible to truly know the experience of death, however people often say they feel more at peace after visualising their own death, as well as feeling closer to the person/people in their life who have died.

This process is offered to those who would like to prepare to support someone who is dying, or has already offered such support. Part of that preparation is to look closely at your own issues around death, with the intention of beginning to clear and resolve these, so that they do not come forward via projection or transference when offering support to the dying.

If you believe that you will have a much deeper sense of meaning and ultimately more joy in your life, if you live more mindfully, consciously, and are more present to your life (rather than operating on auto pilot), then the same principle can apply to dying. Many of us will not function well on auto-pilot in unchartered territories. It is possible to consciously prepare for death so that we can let go gracefully, peacefully and even with gratitude.

Death and the Sub-Conscious Mind  As living, healthy people it is difficult to conceive of our own death and really feel that we are mortal and our life will end. This is because the sub-conscious mind has little reference for death. As humans, we are designed and created to live and we don’t often think of death happening to us. The ritual of ceremony is powerful in that it speaks to the sub-conscious mind and from there the process is guided to act as a bridge to bring into our conscious awareness the reality of death.

After attending a Living Funeral Ceremony some people choose to carry on a personal practice of meditating on death. The Living Funeral simulated and supported experience of death grounds the felt sense of death in your body and therefore it can be more easily accessed during meditation.

Death and Symbolism  The Living Funeral Ceremony can also act as a symbolic ritual – which allows that part of you which no longer serves you to die. It is put to rest, on the day of the ceremony, so that a new you can be born into the world and live out the rest of your life.

If you have suffered from an illness, chronic pain or a challenging relationship and recovered, however still feel that you are hanging on or mourning the old person you were, this process will give you an opportunity to lay to rest the old version of yourself.

You will take home a visual cue which will aid you in remembering, for as long as is necessary, this experience and how you felt before and after.

Benefits of this practice

- Life priorities are clarified

- Receiving clarity and confidence about living the life you really want to live

- Certainty about choices and decisions that were previously unclear & troubling

- Clarity about right use of time (i.e., realisations about working too much or being in the wrong job)

- Clarity about choice of who to spend time with (i.e., how is this relationship serving me?)

- Fear of death is gently confronted, soothed and alleviated

- Develops empathic felt sense for others and self

What participants have said about their experience  Participants in a Living Funeral ceremony will often say the experience has deeply touched their lives.

Despite this process opening you to the reality that death might well be in the near or not so near future – a common comment is: ‘I thought this was going to be about dying, but it’s equally about living’.

Another person commented: ‘By contemplating death I’ve found what life really is in essence. A beautiful and rewarding process because you come out on the other side alive and with that the joy that life brings, and gratitude. I am still alive, and how amazing is that!’

It is an incredible experience for many people to be close to death. A terminal patient of Dr Karen Wyatt’s commented: ‘Now that I know I’m dying, I’m actually only now living my best life. I’m actually loving my life more than I have ever before.‘ This person’s very realisation that they were dying seemed to be what awakened them and gave them so much more meaning in life. A Living Funeral Ceremony is a way to recreate this ‘wake up to your own mortality’ experience before you are at the end of your life.

And at the heart of it all  This ceremony will allow you to accept into your heart - yourself (as you are) and others (as they are). A movement from mind to heart is the essence of the process. You just may discover life as a beautiful lover that you have always taken for granted!

Attending your own Living Funeral Ceremony can be an intensely moving experience, in the same way death can be an intensely moving journey. The internal process of the ceremony will evolve for each individual in just the way that is right for them. It can be emotionally challenging and therefore it may not be for everyone. However, having said that sometimes people even wish to repeat the experience of participating in a Living Funeral Ceremony and find it is different each time. Please feel free to call and discuss any questions or concerns you may have if you are contemplating this offering.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is a living funeral ceremony for?  A living funeral is a form of End-of-Life Education and is for anyone prepared to experience an exercise in confronting their own mortality. It is an intensely personal and potentially challenging event intended to give you clarity about your view of life as a whole.

We welcome death doulas, end-of-life consultants and guides, death-walkers, birth doulas, funeral celebrants, aged care workers, funeral directors, nurses, pastoral carers, doctors, social workers, mental health professionals, allied-health professionals, educators, artists, business folk, adventurers, those facing illness and death, those who have faced death in the past, those who have had a loved one die either recently or a time ago, those who are fearful of death and those that simply wish to prepare for their own death.

All are welcome.

It is also a great idea to participate in a living funeral ceremony before you embark on planning for your end of life – that is completing a Will, medical power of attorney, advance care directive, funeral plans, legacy documents etc. The re-creation of your death experience may help you understand and clarify your end of life wishes.

Do I have to be at the end of my life to experience a living funeral? No. This ceremony benefits any person willing to participate in the confrontation of their own mortality.

Can I participate if I am still grieving a death? We would recommend that some time pass after the death of a loved one before considering the experience of a Living Funeral Ceremony Workshop. How much time exactly will be for you to discern. Please know that this is an intense experience which can bring to the surface uncomfortable or unintegrated emotions or memories. Please call to discuss your situation if you are uncertain and feel you require more information or support around this decision.

Is this private, or will others be around? The Living Funeral Ceremony Workshop is a group workshop open to the public.  However, the option of booking a private Living Funeral Ceremony for your community is available. Booking a private ceremony gives you the control of choosing who will be attending, or choosing to attend alone. Some prefer not to share this intimate experience with those they do not know personally, and a private session may be more comfortable in that case. Please contact the event organiser for more information.

What is the difference between a Living Funeral Ceremony and an actual funeral?  An actual funeral is a ceremony that honours a person who has already died and typically involves burial or cremation.

A living funeral or a 'pre-funeral' is intended for a person who is not yet dead. A participant will attend this Living Funeral Ceremony Workshop held in honour of themselves whilst they are still alive. This sort of ceremony happens in numerous formats all over the world and manifests itself in different forms. The ceremony I perform is unique in that it is offered in a group setting as opposed to focusing on one individual (except in the case of a private session). The ceremony's intention is NOT to function as an actual funeral where family and friends are invited to celebrate the participant's life. The ceremony's intention is to help give the participant the experience and support they need in a form that facilitates the confrontation of mortality with ease, gentleness and self-compassion.

How long is the ceremony?   It is up to 3 hours long depending on the group size, with a relaxed de-briefing period afterwards.

Will I cry?   You will probably cry, and most likely others will too. However, support and tissues will be right by your side.

What should I wear?   Comfortable and airy clothes are strongly suggested. It is important that your body feels free and unencumbered during the ceremony. As individuals differ in their response to temperature, it is advisable to wear a few layers to ensure that you are comfortable. Please refrain from wearing perfumes or any other strong odours. This may bother or distract your fellow participants. Shoes should be easily removable. You will be asked to remove them, but socks are fine to keep on.

Also, some people choose to bring an item of clothing, a shawl or a blanket that they find comforting and wish to wear or be covered with when they are laid to rest.

What do I need to bring?   Bottle of water.

What is the refund & cancellation policy?   Please notify us immediately if you are unable to attend the workshop.  Your full payment secures your booking for your chosen workshop. This workshop has a NO REFUND policy, however

You may request a transfer to another workshop (if available) in the following circumstances:
1.    You notified us at least 72 hours (3 days) before the workshop you were booked into
2.    Medical Condition supported by a doctor’s certificate
3.    Illness of an immediate family member supported by a doctor’s certificate.

For more information, please e-mail Maria at maria.lazovic@bigpond.com or call on 0411 221750